If you're somehow still wondering what the point of all this was, I'll lay it out one last time.

 

Love is a messy bitch, and we as a society have only made her more of a mess. We put people and relationships into tiny little boxes that we create, in a feeble attempt to make sense of the world around us. Just the other day at lunch, I complimented a friend on his ability to always know what he wants to eat.  As someone who sometimes takes forever to order, watching him be able to look at a menu and immediately say "Nachos, man" was mind-blowing. But when I vocalized those thoughts, saying how I admired how decisive he was as a person, the others at the table reacted by asking if I wanted to switch seats to sit next to him, or if I was trying to make a move and come between him and the girl he is currently with. I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS COOL THAT HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES but it was still taken as promoting some hidden agenda. So, for a moment, I thought I should stop sharing my compliments and thoughts with the group, stop making any sort of waves, and finally let my friends be done listening to me talk about love all the time. But then I remembered who I was, and stopped feeling shame for sharing genuine affection for a friend. I won't stop expressing love in new and sometimes even weird ways, because if I do, then what are we even here for?

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Looking ahead, I don't know what will happen. But no matter what happens in my life, I need room for all types of love. I'm happily single at the moment, but my relationship status is not my defining characteristic. And if that status does ever change, whoever changes it needs to be on board with all the other loves I have in life, from my friends and family to my passion for a good broadway ballad and pesto sauce. At the end of the day, how we define or categorize our love doesn't matter nearly as much as the emotion itself, and recognizing that it doesn't have to fit into a definition in order to be valid or accepted.

 

I personally dream of the day when I am not constantly asked if I'm sleeping with or in love with my close friends, and when I can share affection for others without it being questioned or mocked.   But until that day comes, I won't shut up. I will continue to be a bitch about love, and why it doesn't share a definition with the word romance.  I will continue to make room for all kinds of love in my life, and do my best to stop trying to box them up or change them.  And after reading this, I hope you will too. 

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